In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #people #students #jobs

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There is no doubt that earning while studying has many advantages. There are some people support acquiring a

job

Use synonyms

a long

with a forward motion

along

with education, others oppose

this

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due to some reasons. In my opinion, I strongly believe in former view because it has some merits. On the one side of the argument, it is sometimes thought students would focus only their academics

instead

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of getting a part- time

work

Use synonyms

This

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is because engaging in the other activities might result in poor performance in the examinations.

Consequently

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, these learners would suffer a lot as they could not show an excellent educational background in their

adultood

the period of time in your life after your physical growth has stopped and you are fully developed

adulthood

attitude

and employability would slim.

For instance

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, in India, rarely, children have been allowed to

work

Use synonyms

Suggestion

with

both their parents as well as the teachers.

On the other hand

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nevertheless

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, opponents of the above mentioned argument point that joining as a trainee in some

work

Use synonyms

would give a better

job

Use synonyms

perspects

the possibility of future success

prospects

prospectus

when they become adult. In other word, having

Suggestion

hands on experience in the field of

preferrence

a remark that calls attention to something or someone

reference

, could give a chance to successful.

For example

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, nursing students often

work

Use synonyms

as a care giver during their student period.

This

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not only assist to earn

money but

Accept comma addition

money, but

also

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job

Use synonyms

related skills.

Therefore

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, I, firmly think that joining a small

work

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along with studies is highly essential for the futuristic employees. In conclusion, even though people have different opinion on whether to have a

job

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along with studies. In my viewpoint, I think it is a great idea to get a

work

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as well as education.

Submitted by Sal on Sat Aug 08 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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