Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people opine that entertainers are paid heavily and they have a negative influence on society while others dissent that they have a constructive influence on society and deserve the wage.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with the latter view and believe that they should be paid more money compare to other professions. Most of the entertainers earned a lot of money from endorsing brands, hosting the events apart from their main profession and
as a result
Linking Words
, they have a lavish lifestyle and millions of people follow them.
Linking Words
However people
Accept comma addition
However, people
try to imitate their way of
life
Use synonyms
and lose their focus on their
life
Use synonyms
goals and career path.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey published by the Times magazine shows a majority of the youths in India try to copy the
life
Use synonyms
of their favourite celebrities like their brands, vacation.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
, most of the people lose their hard earned wealth by just following the celebrity's
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I agree that the entertainers should be paid more remuneration as they are one who influences the social group. They have to work hard to achieve the position and compromise on their diets to maintain their psyche and looks.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
encourage many people to work towards their
life
Use synonyms
goals.
For instance
Linking Words
, many entertainers are nowadays are doing many charities and social awareness programs to help the world like funding the cancer aids, educational programs and many more.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
million of people are getting aware of the public issues and helping the community by donating money. To conclude, in my opinion, both the sides have their pros and cons. Entertainers are one of the most significant part of the society and have more positive aspects than the negative.
However
Linking Words
, people should not copy everything from their celebrity's
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by KUNAL TALREJA on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: