Directors and managers of organisations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern working world, corporate

work

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is very popular among workers. Some might say that younger staff should be promoted to bigger positions,

such

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as directors or managers, rather than older

people

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. I personally strongly disagree with

this

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statement, and

this

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essay will describe my personal reasons to support my opinion.

Firstly

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, there are various factors that make someone a leader, but the significant reason is

work

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experience. The most senior staff have intense experience in their

work

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field.

For instance

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, doctors are a career that clearly depicts the hierarchy of

work

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profession levels. When doctors are freshly graduated, they are just general physicians. They need to follow residents, who studied specialised fields.

Nevertheless

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, residents must follow fellows, who have genuinely in-depth knowledge more than them. Most of

this

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hierarchy depends on years of studying;

thus

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, junior medical staff have insufficient knowledge compared to residents or fellows.

Moreover

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, something more important than

work

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knowledge is decision-making skills. Some junior workers are inadequate in

this

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type of skill

due to

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their

work

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experience, their immaturity, and their personal perspective as well. Some seniors are good at decision-making because of their age and past experiences.

Nevertheless

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, I believe that age is not the main reason to promote someone as a leader. There are many young

people

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who are talented in both hard and soft skills. The results of

work

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are the most important factor in promoting someone to be a leader.

Moreover

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, perspective and personal traits are always counted in

this

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factor.

To sum up

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, I disagree with

people

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who say younger

people

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are better to be promoted to directors or managers than older workers. In my point of view, they should promote

people

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based on the quality of their

work

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, their hard and soft skills, and their personal traits and perspectives on

work

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yongvibulsiri.pTue Apr 15 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments, especially in sections where you discuss work experience and decision-making skills.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to create smoother transitions between points to enhance the overall flow of the essay.

Task Achievement

While your arguments are valid, delimiting the discussion around younger people's skills would create a balanced perspective to bolster your main arguments.

Task Achievement

Strong rationale for valuing work experience in leadership positions, well-supported by relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clear overall structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Wealth of experience
Historical knowledge
Fresh perspectives
Innovative ideas
Adaptability
Technological advancements
Team cohesion
Morale
Calculated risks
Significant advancements
Mentorship
Transfer of knowledge
Energy and drive
Refined decision-making skills
Younger workforce
Leadership development
Organizational dynamics
Risk-taking mindset
Change management
Intergenerational collaboration

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Directors and managers of organisations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are done alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cell phone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think that is the reason for this? What are the consequences for the people around them.