IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#meat #health
In recent years
,
Accept space
,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of the people want to visit new places compared to
past
Suggestion
the past
,
Accept space
,
as these activities are beneficial for their lifestyle.
This
 essay
higlights
move into the foreground to make more visible or prominent
highlights
highlight
 the reason for the increasing trend
on
Suggestion
of
for
 people towards travelling to
tourist spot
Suggestion
tourist spots
 and its advantages.
To begin
 with factors, on account of these rising
volume
Suggestion
volumes
 of
individuls
a human being
individuals
individual
 in opting to spent time on vacation is the stress which they are encountering in their working environment.
This
 is due to the long working hours and the limited deadlines to finish the target which makes them become workaholic.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
the expenditure on spending to book a holiday resort is
less whereas
Accept comma addition
less, whereas
 our
ancestors usually
Accept comma addition
ancestors, usually
 save money for a long time to meet these expenses
.
Accept space
.
Thanks to the discount provided by these tourist packages
on
Suggestion
for
 the holiday season to afford is worth usage of our money. Turning to the merits of the people who travels a lot may feel their mind being rejuvenated by meeting new people and experiencing the nature's positive vibration on these
magnificient
characterized by grandeur
magnificent
 places.They will eventually be more productive
on
Suggestion
in
 their work place after taking a long vacation from the foreign land.
Besides
,
Accept space
,
they learn new culture and the traditions of the community which makes them getting excited during the whole journey.
Thus
,
Accept space
,
improving the worldly knowledge on different places and customs followed in the various countries
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
many people
wants
Suggestion
want
 to take a break from their daily activities and the cheap tourist plan makes them to explore the adventures around them.There seems a
lots
Suggestion
lot
 of positives like more attentive on their routine activity and to expand their universal understanding
on
Suggestion
of
traditions
Suggestion
the traditions
 followed in different parts of
country
Suggestion
the country
.
Submitted by rehmanmanzil007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: