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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that government should help and look after old people, but others believe that people should have money for their lives on the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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There have been different views about
government
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 should be responsible for support and take
care
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 of older people, while others think their future’s life must depend on the saving money. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and
then
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 present my personal view On the one hand, the elders have made valuable contributions to the country's improvement in the past, so that they should be helped and supported carefully to honour their supplement.
Additionally
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, modern life has a fast pace, so almost members of a family cannot have enough time and acknowledge to provide reasonable
care
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 for the old. If the
government
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 takes action in life
care
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 for the old age, it could reduce the burden for each family in society. Despite those mentioned reasons, I still believe that people should save sufficient money for their lives after retirement.
Firstly
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, having plentiful money, which allows older people can do anything they want freely
such
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 as investing, learning something new or travelling. These activities help to improve their mental health and living condition.
Secondly
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, in recent years, many countries around the world have experienced the huge increase of the number of old ages in the population that would have a bad effect on the
government
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’s budget, if the old people
care
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 to rely totally on the
government
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. It is unfair the people to expect everything from the
government
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 without contributing their share to look after their old age. In conclusion, the
government
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 should definitely provide financial aid to senior citizens. Meanwhile, individuals should
also
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 save up for their retirement. But more importantly, looking after the old is the responsibility of every member of our society

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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