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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development
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Actually, the importance of effort has increased over the
last
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 decades, and money become one of the most fundamental resources to living in the best way. the opportunities
also
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 grew worldwide a few years ago. but sometimes if you want to get your dream job , you should travel to another country or city , and in
this
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 way, you will be far from your friends and family . The advantage of growing up , you will depend on yourself and improve yourself at the same time .
also
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,
on the other hand
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 , you can make new relationships with your team , colleagues or even new friends
.
Correct your spelling
However
however
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, usually , business can give you more training than you really need to become a financially independent person . in my perspective opinion , the prime advantage is your output will develop and you can get a high outcome . so the work is a viable option with more funding. The disadvantage of
this
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 type of job is you should leave your family and friends and stay alone. always you will miss your home and hope to return to your hometown.
also
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 , maybe there are little vacations at work so , you may not have time to visit your family . in sum , irrespective of the disadvantages , the advantages are more than the disadvantages . in my opinion, I advise people to work daily to get more and more money to spend life in a good approach. but, you must try .
Submitted by pha18m35 on

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coherence cohesion
Structure the essay clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with appropriate examples and explanations to strengthen task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Avoid informal language and improve grammar and punctuation usage to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You effectively presented both advantages and disadvantages, showing good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You concluded the essay effectively, summarizing your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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