IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools . others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Dicuss both view views and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit #dicuss
In
this
 present world, an equivalent of gender is assured in any school.
Otherwise
, making female and male separate may have benefits for some reasons. The argument that boys and girls should be isolated in school or not.
This
Suggestion
These
 two sides of
this
 view will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in
this
 essay before depicting my opinion.
Firstly
, the advantage of separating them that they can fully concentrate on their assignment.
For instance
, spending time with different genders can be attracted each other.
For example
, a study conducted by Japanese scientist revealed that 80 percent of male students' interest in female students because of their physical and mental development. They can easily distract each other.
Thus
, to make them focus on their subjects, isolation may need to be considered to develop themselves.
This
 is why it can be argued that boys and girls need to be separated in the academy.
On the other hand
, the interaction between them may be beneficial for their future. In
this
 modern society, due to discharging the equivalent of gender, girls have an opportunity to become a superior officer which has never happened decades ago in a company.
Hence
, to deal with the situation, an interaction will be a key point to learn when they are kids.
Therefore
, they suppose to stay in the same place to corporate each other and
this
 is why educating them in mixed university is better than the opposites. To summarize, the two sides of the argument concerning the benefit of educating each gender in different schools have some supports.
However
, after thoroughly analysed of both views, it is clear that the idea of forcing them to study in different schools cannot be supported.
Also
 in my perspective, both genders need to understand their mental emotion. It is a vital tool to survive
this
 modern social life.
Therefore
, boys and girls have to be together when they grow up.
Submitted by 室谷寛樹 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: