There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

It is true that there is a plethora of
music
all around the globe today. From my perspective,
music
is of paramount importance in human
life
for the following reasons and I argue that the traditional
music
of a nation is more significantly vital than the international
music
that is
ubiquitous all over the place nowadays. In fact, it is undeniable that
music
not only helps people develop
life
skills but
Accept comma addition
skills, but
also
alleviate tense moments in
life
. The
first
thing worth mentioning is that when we were kids, we were taught by songs in order to learn a language and to have
enjoyment
Suggestion
enjoyed
in class.
In addition
, listening to
music
is
also
a means of strengthening the bonds of family, friendship, or love. Later in
life
,
music
is an effective solution to ease our minds whenever we feel frustrated. Some people,
for example
, tend to go to enjoy professional performances in small tea rooms at times to take a weight off their mind after a long time at work or study. In short, it is terrible to imagine how monotonous
life
could be without
music
. In my opinion, the traditional
music
is more fundamental than the foreign
music
that has become prevalent. I reckon that the rhythm of the latter is immensely catchy and fun but less meaningful.
This
means that the international
music
is likely to keep abreast of
latest trends
Suggestion
the latest trends
and information to satisfy listeners, while the traditional
music
always expresses clearly
life-long
continuing through life
lifelong
moral values
such
as the concord in a family, the faith in love, the patriotism and so forth to teach people how to have suitable
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
in society.
Furthermore
, the traditional
music
plays a significant role in preserving different historic moments of every nation.
For instance
, in Viet Nam, thanks to
music
, people nowadays understand how soldiers could hide from being attacked by bombs. In conclusion,
music
is a necessary part of human existence, I
also
perceive that listening to the traditional
music
will be more valuable than the abroad
music
.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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