In multicultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages and the disadvantages?

#societies #people #backgrounds #work

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It is true that citizens from different ethnic group has become a prevalent in some countries. While I accept that

this

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trend can sometimes have positive effects, I believe that they are more likely to have harmful impacts.

On the other hand

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, one of the advantages of living in societies which comprise a mixture of several

culture

Suggestion

cultures

is the enhancement of knowledge and adaptability. It is obvious that if people living in

multicultural environment

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a multicultural environment

multicultural environments

, they can expose to diverse cultural, religious and geographic backgrounds of their foreign neighbours, colleagues and friends.

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can provide them more opportunities to enhance better understanding of multiple perspective and ways of thinking. Another major plus point is that living in multicultural societies, inhabitants probably develop their adaptability.

This

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means they can learn how to respect and tolerate other ethnics as well as customs. Because of

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, it is easier for people adapt new environment better

such

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as changing work or education field of life to establish a good relationship.

On the other hand

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, one of the disadvantages of multicultural communities is

risk

Suggestion

a risk

of social conflict. The number of people who thinks that their religious beliefs are the most superior,

hence

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they perhaps prove one another ones are wrong and underestimate other religions and races. Due to

this

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, various controversial cultures occurred, which leads to increase of feeling of anger and hatred.

Therefore

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, the chances of abuse, threats and violence are high.

For example

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, the level of tension between cultures and religions in some areas

such

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as Israel where have multicultural diversities

Suggestion

are

higher than others. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of

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phenomenon are more significant than possible benefits and the governments should have some measures to deal with the discrimination among different cultures.

Submitted by Andy on Sat Aug 15 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural diversity
Social cohesion
Economic prosperity
Integration
Cultural identity
Heritage preservation
Language barriers
Global talent
Innovation
Inclusion
Tolerance
Intercultural understanding

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In multicultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages and the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Public library should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, applications, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?