Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion

It is true that the world has been experiencing an immense detrimental
efffect
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
effect
effects
affects
of criminal activities and numerous people assert that it is
unresolvable
not reasonable; not showing good judgment
unreasonable
to halt
this
problem. I completely disagree with
this
point of view and I believe
this
issue can be addressed by both assistance and
education
from governments. Most criminal activities tend to be attributable to poverty, which is considered to be extremely challenging to solve.
However
, national and international leaders could tackle
this
issue by providing resources to those in need. To be more specific, local authorities are advised to pour more financial support
into
Suggestion
in
helping the
underprivileged
Accept comma addition
underprivileged, such
such
as providing food and clothes, which in turn leads to strengthening people’s living standards and
therefore
gives a huge reduction in crime rate. Regarding international bodies, developing nations could give their helping hands to the less developed countries in the form of technological breakthroughs, medical advancement, or some experts.
As a result
, the unfortunate countries could make the most of
such
meaningful support to significantly upgrade their home,
therefore
those who are likely to commit a crime would decrease. In terms of
education
, it is the governments and educational institutions that can collaborate to launch educational programs to every corner of the world.
This
is because people who gain access to a well-rounded
education
would be more likely to become productive citizens.
Consequently
, they tend to aware of the distinction between what is right and
wrong which
Accept comma addition
wrong, which
conduces to a better civilization. The more awareness people could attain, the less irresponsible actions or criminals would occur. If every citizen had the opportunity to receive a supportive environment to learn and grow, there would be a world where the definition of crime did not exist. In conclusion, despite the existence of criminal activities, I still believe that people could combat
this
problem through assistance and
education
.
Submitted by Andy on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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