People should look after their health for personal benefits, rather than a duty for a society. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #duty #society

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It is argued that people should pay more attention to

healthcare mostly

Suggestion

health care, mostly

health care mostly

for

pesonal

concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality

personal

personnel

benefits

instead

Linking Words

of social responsibilities. Personally, I believe both purposes are of great importance and people had better take an interest in both

To begin

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with, everyone

first

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need to take care of their

health

Use synonyms

due to various advantages for themselves. Concerning physical

health

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, maintaining well-being does people a lot of good.

For instance

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, doing exercises regularly and having healthy

diet help them

Suggestion

diet to help them

stay in shape and be less susceptible to serious diseases like diabetes or obesity.

This

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also

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makes an enormous contribution to beneficial changes in personal mental

health

Use synonyms

. People in good conditions have less

diffiliculties

an effort that is inconvenient

difficulties

joing

the act of departing

going

doing

sports

activies

any specific behavior

activities

which are a great way to unwind after working and studying.

Moreover

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, good

health

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increases their ability to endure and allows them to work for longer hours.

As a result

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, their workforce productivity is pushed up, they can earn more money to improve their living conditions and lead a happy life

On the other hand

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, looking after of personal

health

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directly has positive influences on society.

First

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, raising awareness about

health

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care reduces mortality rate. When people care more about their

health

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as getting vaccinated and having

routine check-up

Suggestion

a routine check-up

, the spread of serious

health

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problems are prevented.

This

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might lead to substantial improvements in public

health

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Therefore

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, there may be a significant decrease in death toll caused by diseases.

Second

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, more people in excellent

health

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also

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cause good results on

economy

Suggestion

the economy

. When people stay healthy, they might be able to work more productively which can boost national economic develepment In conclusion, keeping well-being plays a vital role in ensuring personal and public

health

Use synonyms

so paying attention to both purposes is a better choice

Submitted by Andy on Sat Aug 15 2020

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

duty
well-being
burden
healthcare systems
productive
economy
example
empower
informed choices

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People should look after their health for personal benefits, rather than a duty for a society. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some companies sponsor sports and sports stars as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

All children should study a foreign language in school in school, starting in the earliest grades. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.