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Band 6.5

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #food
When discussing fast
food
, it is becoming more economically viable and readily accessible in some countries. I strongly believe that
this
 is an adverse trend and that the drawbacks are far surpassing benefits. It is true that owing to economic recession, inflationary
spike
Fix the agreement mistake
spikes
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, and persistent price hikes in certain areas, access to affordable and nutritious
food
 has become a considerable obstacle for many individuals. Not only the cost of
food
 but
also
 the expenditure they have to spend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation adds to their financial burden. It is widely recognized that these kinds of unhealthy
food
 options have negative effects on
health
, but many consumers feel they have no choice as it is the most cost-effective option for them. It is more economical than purchasing nutritious meals and is widely available,
also
 alleviating the impact of rising gas prices.
However
, from my stance, I do not see any upside regarding
this
 issue. The adverse impacts of these obesity-inducing foods on individuals are profound. Indeed, buying fast
food
 in order to save money is an absolute vicious circle. People who find it challenging to afford a healthy meal
due to
 cost constraints may face difficulties in acquiring
health
 insurance. Obesity can lead to several severe
health
 problems. In the USA, a meal consisting of a burger, fries, and a soda may cost less than three dollars at a ubiquitous fast
food
 establishment;
nonetheless
, a single visit to a medical facility could result in expenses exceeding a thousand dollars. In conclusion,
although
 the affordability and accessibility of fast
food
 may seem advantageous for individuals facing economic challenges in the short term,
this
 represents a concerning trend with negative consequences both in terms of
health
 and
financially
Replace the word
finances
show examples
. The drawbacks of the issue are far surpassing the benefits in the long term.
Submitted by ihateielts on

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Language Use
Consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of your discussion.
Content
Adding more specific examples or data would strengthen your argument, making your points more compelling and grounded.
Task Response
Try to express both sides of the argument more distinctly before concluding, even if you have a strong opinion. It will create a more balanced argument and showcase a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Position
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, effectively communicating your perspective.
Structure
Your essay effectively opens with a strong thesis statement and concludes with a concise summary of your viewpoint, demonstrating good use of introduction and conclusion.
Content
You've effectively discussed the disadvantages of fast food, focusing on economic and health impacts, which supports your main points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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