IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries,owning a home rather than renting one is very important for some people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
These days
,
Accept space
,
there is a trend that some people prefer buying their own
house
Use synonyms
 rather than renting
one
Use synonyms
.The reasons
of
Suggestion
for
this
Linking Words
 trend are various, namely, traditional belief and sign of wealth; and personally I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a negative situation.
Body paragraph 1
There are several reasons why people want to own a
house
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people hold a belief of buying a
house
Use synonyms
 is the
neccessity
the condition of being essential or indispensable
necessity
 to settle down.
That is
Linking Words
 because when having already purchased an
accomodation
making or becoming suitable; adjusting to circumstances
accommodation
, they are likely to think of other important aspects of their
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
Linking Words
 as having a romantic relationship and form their own family or taking care of their parents.Another reason explaining
this
Linking Words
 trend is that citizens buy a
house
Use synonyms
 rather than renting
one
Use synonyms
 with a view to showing their financial condition.People owning a home are likely to have higher income than the
avarage
approximating the statistical norm or average or expected value
average
 and
one
Use synonyms
 way to show their wealth is that owning a
home which
Accept comma addition
home, which
 cannot be achieved if they just rent a
house
Use synonyms
 for short-term
.
Accept space
.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, there are more and more
imigrants
a person who comes to a country where they were not born in order to settle there
immigrants
emigrants
migrants
 flocking to many urban areas and that results in higher cost needed to buy a
house
Use synonyms
. According to a study in Hanoi- a metropolis in Vietnam, has an
avarage
approximating the statistical norm or average or expected value
average
 price of
accomodation
making or becoming suitable; adjusting to circumstances
accommodation
 up to 25 million dong each square meter which seems to
unaffordable
Suggestion
 for some people
,
Accept space
,
espeacially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 youngsters.They can still purchase a
house
Use synonyms
 by
themsevles
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
 just by having more
debt but
Accept comma addition
debt, but
 in
this
Linking Words
 way, they
are required
Suggestion
require
 more hard-working hours as well as higher and stable income and in the long run,
this
Linking Words
 may put more pressure on their financial ability.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having a
house
Use synonyms
 is not
realisitc
aware or expressing awareness of things as they really are
realistic
 for some people.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the main reasons why many people choose to have their own home as
opose
being in opposition or having an opponent
opposed
d to renting
one
Use synonyms
 may lie in the social perception of settling and the desire to show fortune but
this
Linking Words
 is a negative situation due to the financial burden created

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: