IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents
It is true that many parents nowadays have participated in
cources
education imparted in a series of lessons or meetings
courses
 to learn parenting skills because of the essence of bringing up an offspring properly. In my own perspective, I completely agree with
this
 popular trend. There are some certain reasons why mothers and fathers ought to attend to these classes.
Firsly
Suggestion
Firstly
, parents will know how narrow the generation gap between family members by taking several
lesson
Suggestion
lessons
.
For instance
, they will be given a task to practice how to
anylise
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 children’s
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
, the result is that they can easily adapt their children’s characteristics and interests and built a strong relationship with them.
Secondly
, when parenting skills be mastered, the adults
can be focus
Suggestion
can focus
can be focused
 on their career more. If their children have problems in physically or
mentality
Suggestion
mentally
, it will
affected
Suggestion
affect
 to parents’ productivity and concentration
in
Suggestion
at
 work, which prevents them from meeting basic human needs. Offsprings
also
 be benefited from parents who
excellent
Suggestion
excel
 in nurturing skills. Parents are very influential in shaping their sons or
daughters’
Suggestion
daughter’s
 personality through the example that they set. Since patterns of
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 copied from parents often influence the way children grow up, the children’s trait
become
Suggestion
becomes
 good or bad is mostly depend on the adults’ action. When children be listened and sympathized
by
Suggestion
with
 their parents, it gives them countless opportunities to live happily. They can freely discover their passion and develop hidden
protential
existing in possibility
potential
potentials
,
as a
result they
Accept comma addition
result, they
 can build their own successful careers in the future. In conclusion, it seems to me that parenting
cources
education imparted in a series of lessons or meetings
courses
coaches
 should be encouraged more in
this
 day and age.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: