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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #amount #money #children
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There is no way to earn some
money
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 at an early age,
such
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 as school kids. So giving a small amount of
money
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 may essential to kids.
However
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, it is debatable that even the small amount of
money
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 may negatively affect their
money
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management
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 skill and less gratitude of salary. It is agreed that offering a small allowance will totally worthy of developing their
management
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 skills. So,
this
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 essay will elaborate on the views of financial
management
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 and the recognition of
money
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.
Firstly
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, the reason why more and more parents are giving a small allowance to kids on a daily basis that, they hope to focus on one's purpose and learn the appreciation of
money
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. Attending school may stressful because of a heavy workload.
For instance
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, spending their small allowance to buy a new toy or spending a night with friends would be therapeutic for kids' mental health.
Also
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 not only the young can have the small amount of
money
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 at their disposal, they can have a fund in case of emergency.
In addition
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, it is
also
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 significant to express one's love with presents by the
money
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 that parents saved up for an extended period.
Hence
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, handing in
money
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 to kids is fulfilled with the advantages.
This
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 essay readily draws a conclusion before giving an attention to side effects of giving
money
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 to kids, we must put the downside of effects before judging whether every parent should allow kids to have cash or not. Overspending bill on antisocial or illegal activities, children will ruin their future and become a social vice and gather with gangs all day without any progress of academic and personal growth. On top of that, the children failed to realize how much effort their parents have put into because of receiving
money
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 without having to work.
As a result
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, juveniles do not express their appreciation toward either cash or parents. In summary, it points me to conclude that giving school students' fund can be a beneficial to build up their financial
management
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, but in practice, it may lead them to a wrong path of life.
Submitted by 室谷寛樹 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • independence
  • financial literacy
  • work ethic
  • effort and reward
  • impulsive purchases
  • budgeting skills
  • critical thinking
  • sense of entitlement
  • modest amounts
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