Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The inspiring world of

sports

Use synonyms

in the twenty-first century provides tremendous levels of challenges

as well as

Linking Words

opportunities for a broad spectrum of enthusiasts.

Although

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one group is of the opinion that hazardous athletic activities ought to be prohibited, the other group, myself included, argues that increasing the

awareness

Use synonyms

of the public is paramount. On the one hand, many citizens are claiming that a few particular precarious

sports

Use synonyms

should be banned if we intend to keep the younger generation safe. If parents kept their cherished teenagers away from perilous athletic activities

such

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as racing cars and motors,

for example

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, there would be fewer casualties

as a

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result

Use synonyms

, a recent Harvard study revealed.

Furthermore

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, precarious

sports

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are detrimental to the well-being of athletes and will not only

result

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in maims and mutilations but

also

Linking Words

may potentially lead to mortal incidents.

Hence

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, it makes sense from the perspective of

this

Linking Words

group to outlaw any athletic activity or hobby that they do not prove to be secure.

On the other hand

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, others, like me, argue that even the safest

sports

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can sometimes be fatal and imposing a ban only increases the risk of a heavy backfire and

as a

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result

Use synonyms

awareness

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is our only option. If bans are introduced, juveniles may decide to go underground and practice their hobbies in a stealthy manner,

for instance

Linking Words

Moreover

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, even safe

sports

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such

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as football or table tennis randomly bring about severe cardiovascular or respiratory accidents or even deaths, as we observe samples of

such

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tragic events on television.

Therefore

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, the only prudent policy that can achieve the desired outcome is increasing the

awareness

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of the public regarding perilous activities and the best strategies to mitigate their pernicious ramifications, not depriving them of their liberties. In conclusion, some express a favourable view for outlawing hazardous

sports

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to increase safety,

however

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, others, including me, believe that it is essential to avoid that miscalculation to prevent secretive practice sessions which can

result

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in a more devastating outcome.

Nevertheless

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, if we adopt a holistic approach, raising the

awareness

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of the public

while

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keeping their freedom is the superior strategy when dealing with

this

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challenge .

sajjad.talebi2020Tue Aug 27 2024

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task achievement

In the 'Task Achievement' area, you have done well by covering both viewpoints and providing clear arguments. However, further development of examples would add to the richness of your essay. Try to include a specific instance or study result for both viewpoints instead of relying on general assertions.

coherence cohesion

For 'Coherence and Cohesion,' your essay structure is logical, and it's easy to follow your arguments. However, try to use more transitional phrases and linking words to connect the ideas more smoothly throughout the essay.

introduction conclusion present

Excellent introduction and conclusion that beautifully encapsulate your arguments. They are both clear and effective in framing the discussion.

supported main points

You have supported your points well, providing a good balance between the various aspects of the debate. The main arguments are well backed up, although examples can be more detailed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public safety
strain on public health resources
individual freedom
autonomy
personal growth
resilience
sense of accomplishment
proper regulations
safety measures
economic benefits
revenue from tourism
hosting events
injuries
fatalities

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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some educationalist argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance To what extent do you agree or disagree

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The best way to motivate employees is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourageemployees to work more efficiently?

In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion