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Writing Samples
Band 8

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

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In both academic and professional settings, individuals vary greatly in the effort they exert.
While
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 some are driven by a desire for self-fulfilment and societal expectations, overworking is not always beneficial, as it can negatively impact personal
relationships
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 and mental health. People who
work
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 or study harder often do so because of a pursuit of self-fulfilment and the pressure to meet societal expectations. Many individuals feel compelled to excel academically or professionally, viewing it as a way to achieve personal success and societal recognition.
For example
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, a student may
work
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 tirelessly to secure a place in a prestigious university, seeing it as a pathway to future career opportunities and financial stability.
Additionally
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, societal expectations to maintain a successful career and a high standard of living can push people to invest extra effort. These motivating factors drive many to
work
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 harder, as they seek both personal achievement and social acceptance.
However
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, working hard is not always a positive thing, as excessive dedication to
work
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 or studies can disrupt family life and social connections, leading to mental health issues. Overworking often reduces the time and energy available for nurturing
relationships
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 with family and friends, which can result in feelings of isolation and frustration.
For instance
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, a professional who spends long hours at the office might miss out on important family moments, which could strain
relationships
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 and increase stress.
Additionally
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, relentless effort without balance can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even depression, compromising long-term well-being.
Thus
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,
while
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 hard
work
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 is valuable, its negative consequences highlight the importance of moderation. In conclusion,
while
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 some people
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 harder
due to
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 personal and societal motivations, it is not always beneficial, as it can harm
relationships
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 and mental health, underscoring the need for a balanced approach.

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lexical resource
While the essay is mostly clear and focused, try to integrate more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the richness of your writing. This will help convey your ideas with more sophistication and potentially raise your score.
task achievement
Consider including alternative viewpoints or counterarguments to add depth to your analysis. This will show your ability to engage critically with the topic.
structural achievement
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the main points.
supporting details
Good use of specific examples, such as the student striving for academic success, to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas, with clear connections between reasons for hard work and its consequences.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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