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Writing Samples
Band 6

Being involved in the arts makes people feel better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#arts #people
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Engagement in the
arts
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 has positive impacts on individuals' emotions.In my opinion, participation in the
arts
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 enhances
people
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's well-being. It is my view that, involvement in the
arts
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 results in mental health benefits.
Arts
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 are a form of self-expression because these give
people
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 the opportunity to express some aspects of their personality by doing
activities
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such
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 as painting, music, and dance which are completely different from their daily routine.
Furthermore
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, research findings confirm that
art
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 therapy is highly beneficial to
people
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 who struggle with emotional and psychological problems,
for instance
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, anxiety and depression boosting the improvement process and bringing a sense of satisfaction.
In contrast
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, some
people
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 claim that artistic
activities
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 may have adverse psychological effects. They firmly insist that everyone is not talented in
art
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activities
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 which it's outcome leads to disappointment and depression.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing as when it comes to
art
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activities
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, it obviously means hobby, not impeccable and professional
art
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 and nobody is supposed to judge their work.
Also
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, the researchers prove that
arts
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 have therapeutic effects on
people
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 who suffer from mental problems and in the long term they have indicated full-filling results. In conclusion, I completely agree with the importance of
arts
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 in enhancing individuals' well-being because
art
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activities
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 allow for emotional release help
people
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 process their feelings in a healthy way, and are renowned for their therapeutic effects.
Submitted by neginteymourzadeh on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen the argument about the benefits of arts on mental health.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly, using a clear logical structure throughout.
coherence cohesion
The introduction succinctly presents the writer's position, clearly indicating agreement with the statement.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reaffirming the positive view on arts.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, showing the writer's awareness of opposing views.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artistic activities
  • Mental health
  • Emotional well-being
  • Sense of community
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Self-esteem
  • Personal growth
  • Art therapy
  • Emotional release
  • Communication
  • Subjective impact
  • Stress reduction
  • Relaxation
  • Outlet for emotions
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