Being involved in the arts makes people feel better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Engagement in the
arts
has positive impacts on individuals' emotions.In my opinion, participation in the
arts
enhances
people
's well-being. It is my view that, involvement in the
arts
results in mental health benefits.
Arts
are a form of self-expression because these give
people
the opportunity to express some aspects of their personality by doing
activities
such
as painting, music, and dance which are completely different from their daily routine.
Furthermore
, research findings confirm that
art
therapy is highly beneficial to
people
who struggle with emotional and psychological problems,
for instance
, anxiety and depression boosting the improvement process and bringing a sense of satisfaction.
In contrast
, some
people
claim that artistic
activities
may have adverse psychological effects. They firmly insist that everyone is not talented in
art
activities
which it's outcome leads to disappointment and depression.
However
, I do not find
this
argument convincing as when it comes to
art
activities
, it obviously means hobby, not impeccable and professional
art
and nobody is supposed to judge their work.
Also
, the researchers prove that
arts
have therapeutic effects on
people
who suffer from mental problems and in the long term they have indicated full-filling results. In conclusion, I completely agree with the importance of
arts
in enhancing individuals' well-being because
art
activities
allow for emotional release help
people
process their feelings in a healthy way, and are renowned for their therapeutic effects.
Submitted by neginteymourzadeh on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen the argument about the benefits of arts on mental health.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly, using a clear logical structure throughout.
coherence cohesion
The introduction succinctly presents the writer's position, clearly indicating agreement with the statement.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reaffirming the positive view on arts.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, showing the writer's awareness of opposing views.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artistic activities
  • Mental health
  • Emotional well-being
  • Sense of community
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Self-esteem
  • Personal growth
  • Art therapy
  • Emotional release
  • Communication
  • Subjective impact
  • Stress reduction
  • Relaxation
  • Outlet for emotions
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