IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinks of jobs required?

#trend #environment #kinks #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
We’re living in an age when there is an ascending trend of online shopping.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon is
seemed
Verb problem
seen
show examples
 as a positive signal to economics and employment issues.
However
Linking Words
, in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run,
e-commercial
Correct your spelling
e-commercials
 may do more harm than good to both nature and human well-being. In the matter of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, online shopping is the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 air pollution as long as carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
. These days, there is a great
quatity
Correct your spelling
quantity
quality
 of delivery vehicles which appeared in order to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 the needs of
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
, online shopping helps people to buy the things that are not available in their neighbourhoods,
therefore
Linking Words
 the act of shipping is the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
main source of
exhauseting
Correct your spelling
exhausting
 wasted fumes and many others glasshouse emissions. Regarding of the online shopping effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job opportunities and
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 market, online shopping provides
seller
Fix the agreement mistake
sellers
show examples
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
working environment which does not require business premises,
consequently
Linking Words
,
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 tend to employ
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 people. Looking into the future,
small
Add an article
the small
a small
show examples
retailer
Fix the agreement mistake
retailers
show examples
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 face the danger of being bankrupt, and
this
Linking Words
changing
Replace the word
change
show examples
 creates various opportunities for
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
,
designer
Fix the agreement mistake
designers
show examples
, online
seller
Fix the agreement mistake
sellers
show examples
,
delivery
Correct word choice
and delivery
show examples
 drivers.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the jobs that will
be create
Change the verb form
be created
show examples
 by online shopping might outnumber the new jobs that would be offered by the rapid
rising
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 of online shopping.
To sum up
Linking Words
, online shopping
makes
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a great impact on human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
environment, in
short
Correct article usage
the short
show examples
 term it serves as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opportunity for economics but in the long run, it may cause several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social problems and damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: