IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

the difference in age between parents and their children has increased compared to the past. Do you think advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvs .

#difference #age #parents #children #trend #disadvs
In
this
 contemporary life, there has been a major concern that many couples have delayed parenthood that extends
age gap
Suggestion
the age gap
 between parents and children. Some people argue that the difference has
rised
come into existence; take on form or shape
arisen
risen
raised
resided
 with compare to the past. In my opinion, I supposed that the advantages are outranked by the disadvantages of
this
 notion. On the plus side,
this
 tendency can pave the way for considerable generation distinctiveness. It is quite transparent that parents and children may face some conflicts in terms of life perceptions and ideologies, probably eroding family's connection and harmony.
In addition
, a large
age
 bracket results in parents'
health
 degradation while their young are sub-adult. There is a convey aiming to those specific parents in the countries which are in
face
Suggestion
the face
 of population aging like Japan. The outcome shows that over 70% of
such
 parents find it arduous and arcane to foster their children in the deficient
health
 foundation.
Hence
,
generation gap
Suggestion
the generation gap
generation gaps
 and parental
health
 deficiency are two drawbacks derived from the increase in
age
 difference.
However
, regarding to the plus side, the increment of
age
 distinction would followed by the experienced and fully -mature parental traits. Those mothers and fathers should have overcome a great deal of trials and tribulations in the early life which escalates and accumulates their childcare methods. They may possess a sound understanding about standard demeanours as well as interpersonal relationship which would be an immensely practical lesson for the junior generations.
Therefore
, the benefit of the argument is barely cited above emphasising the prime and full-grown parental qualities. In conclusion, without doubt, the expand in
age
 gap brings more cons than pros. Parents in
this
 situation should raise consider about the generation distinction and
health insufficiency
Suggestion
the health insufficiency
 in order to attain an adequate upbringing and build up one big family.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: