IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that in all levels of educations, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are those who have the view that from the entire
education
Use synonyms
 period, from the initial
stage
Use synonyms
 to the advanced
stage
Use synonyms
, students spend too much time studying
facts
Use synonyms
, thereby causing the insufficiency of studying practical methods.
While
Linking Words
 educational institutions spend time on teaching
facts
Use synonyms
, I disagree with the view as there are a lot of changes in
education
Use synonyms
 systems worldwide, having more real activities.
To begin
Linking Words
, the curriculum in the initial
stage
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
, including primary school and secondary school, has been significantly changed for a couple of decades, which previously focused on learning
facts
Use synonyms
 and histories, as knowledge was deemed as the key to developing children's intelligence.
However
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the immense advancement in digitalisation, the recent initial
education
Use synonyms
 curriculum engages more practical
skills
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as computer programming and presentation, which prioritise enhancing the information management
skills
Use synonyms
 of young people.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
for example
Linking Words
, students' timetables in these schools change to increase pragmatic lessons in Japan.
Moreover
Linking Words
, regarding advanced
education
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as college and university, the opportunity for practical lessons has immensely increased, compared to a few decades ago.
For example
Linking Words
, a large number of companies offer internship work programs to students, thereby enabling meaningful actual work, starting the first
stage
Use synonyms
 of their career.
This
Linking Words
 opportunity can lead to the effective development of their practical business
skills
Use synonyms
 like accounting, presentation, discussion and issue management. In summary, I wholeheartedly believe that all levels of
education
Use synonyms
 have a significant progress worldwide, from prioritising learning
facts
Use synonyms
 and methods to increasing real experiences to enhance young individuals'
skills
Use synonyms
 in more practical and digitalised formats.
This
Linking Words
 transition would be crucial to developing our economy by establishing innovative businesses and tackling a lot of social problems by analysing an enormous number of
facts
Use synonyms
 and information.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task as your failure to do so may lower your score. It’s crucial to develop all aspects of your argument to meet the task response criterion fully. Consider if any viewpoints or examples in your essay were not fully elaborated on or could be perceived as tangential to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Increase the variety of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will not only enhance your writing’s logical flow but also show a higher proficiency in English.
task achievement
Keep focusing on developing clear and direct responses to the prompt with comprehensive examples. However, ensuring these examples directly relate and support your main idea can further strengthen your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: