IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that government should not give international aid since they have disadvantages people like unemployment and homeless in their own country. To what extent do u you agree or disagree?

#people #government #aid #unemployment #country
Some believe that the government should prioritise internal prevailing issues
such
 as unemployment, poverty, over providing assistance to other nations. People support
this
 theory for obvious reasons as dissemination of funds in other countries would mean lesser monetary funds to tackle the concerns of the own country.
However
, I oppose the statement citing humanitarian and goodwill reasons.
To begin
 with, I believe irrespective of colour, creed or nationality, we all belong to the human race. It is a basic human instinct to empathize with the suffering people, and render help. We can take a recent example of COVID Pandemic which had adverse ramifications in Italy. In difficult times, it becomes the responsibility of all the nations to help each other with utmost sincerity and dedication. Continuing, I would
also
 like to add that no nation in the world is immune to the occurrence of natural disasters. Even the most developed and wealthy nations become helpless in front of the wrath of the nature. It can be exemplified by the rampant Australian wildfires, frequent cyclones in the USA. The entire world came forward to help by contributing as much as they could to save the human life and restoration of lost flora and fauna.
Hence
, we must help each to maintain good relations, because we don't know when our nation would be needing help from others. To conclude, I believe we are all brothers and sisters to each other, living in various nations, though separated by boundaries, yet connected by hearts.
Hence
, we ought to help the people in crisis to the best of our abilities.
Submitted by aakshika29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: