Goverments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#goverments #support #artists #people #waste #money

Some people argue about the financial support given to artists is wasteful of money and should provide to other departments, while others believe that

art

needs that monetary help. I think that there are important sectors that desperately need government support much more than

art

. On the one hand,

art

has several benefits for our society.

For example

art

helps to preserve and transmit the cultural and historical heritage from generation to generation.

For instance

, the Egyptians have maintained their

art

for 50000 years ago.

Therefore their

Accept comma addition

Therefore, their

country is one of the significant cites for tourism in the whole world now.

Moreover

, preserving their artwork does not only kept their

heritage but

Accept comma addition

heritage, but

also

serve their economy because their

art

has a high value.

However

, I believe that

education

and

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

are much more important than

art

because they fundamental to every person.

On the other hand

education

and

healthcare

play a significant role in

people

Suggestion

peoples'

peoples

lives. In many undeveloped and developed countries, there are millions of people that do not have access to safe drinking water, even proper

education

Therefore

, the unemployment rate has increased because

education

is fundamental for work.

In addition

defunding

the hospitals put a massive strain on

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

services leads to an increase in the waiting list and spread diseases because doctors and all the health team will not work without sufficient salary. I think that state spending should give to

education

and health sectors because they Important for peoples' survival. In conclusion, I believe that the government should pay attention to the most critical sectors that need monetary support more like

education

and

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

, which serve the community needs more than

art

Submitted by to0ota_787 on Wed Aug 19 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Goverments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

While travelling by metro train, your credit card slipped out of your pocket. You realized this only after reaching home. Write a letter to the concerned authorities and explain what happened.

Some people think that children should start school very early. Some people think they should start at least when they are 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young peopl living in cities are facing with? Give solutions to these problems

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. What extent Do you Agree or Disagree ??