IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Do you believe the benefits of social media outweigh the drawbacks? A lot of people use it every day to stay in touch with others and learn about upcoming events.

#media #people #touch #events
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In recent times, Social media has become an integral part of our daily lives,with millions of people using social publishing platforms daily to connect with others and update the
news
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as well as
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 share their experiences. It is crucial to evaluate whether the pros of social
news
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 outweigh its cons. On the one hand, using social media platforms
such
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 as Facebook, and Instagram has a variety of benefits. It allows individuals to stay in touch with family, friends and acquaintances, and communicate with loved ones.
Besides
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 that,
this
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 can be especially beneficial for people who live far away or scattered across the globe from their hometown.
Moreover
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, social media supply us with prosperity information. With just a few clicks we can access
news
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 from around the world, and stay informed about the latest trends and developments in our fields of interest. Internet community help us widen our socialise, make a new friend who has the same passion, and make it easier to learn and grow in our areas of expertise. On the one hand, the social website has its drawbacks. One of the most extreme concerns associated with social platforms is the potential for addiction. Prolonging use internet can lead to anxiety, loneliness, and negative impacts on an individual’s mental well-being.
In addition
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, the internet can be a source of misinformation, cyberbullying and trolling. In conclusion,
while
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 social
news
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 has its disadvantages, it is
also
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 a powerful tool in moderation. We must take steps to protect our mental health and well-being online
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Logical structure and transitions
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which effectively structures your arguments. However, enhancing transitions between paragraphs could make the flow even smoother.
Balanced argumentation
Ensure to address both sides of the argument equally. Your essay leans more towards the benefits of social media; try to balance this with equal discussion about the drawbacks.
Supporting evidence
To further improve, consider incorporating more specific examples and data to support your arguments, which would strengthen your essay's persuasiveness.
Intro/Conclusion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, outlining the main discussion points clearly.
Relevancy and focus
You maintained a good focus on the topic and provided relevant examples to your claims, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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