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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opini

Happiness is a serious business.
While
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 some opine that teenagers are much happier in their lives, others argue that adulthood is by far the happiest
time
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 in each person’s life.
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nevertheless
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Nevertheless
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, they are really busy. In my view, the younger
people
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 are, the more happiness can be expected. On the one hand, underestimating the importance of experience in living without any concern is not logical. To clarify, old
people
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 have always been experiencing many challenging moments throughout all stages of their lives.
As a result
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, they have understood that the more they prioritise meaningful work over materialistic issues, the better they can enjoy their moments.
Hence
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, they are much more cheerful compared to their younger counterparts,
although
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 they are in charge of complex responsibilities.
On the other hand
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, there is a definite link between
people
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’s age and having tendency to try exciting things.
For example
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, I myself used to be willing to take a risk to create a great deal of excitement for myself, but nowadays, I cannot persuade myself to take a risk, since it causes a lot of stress for me.
Moreover
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, teenagers are free from any complex responsibility.
This
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 allows them to spend their
time
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 doing their desired activities, which can make them up to maximum happy,
such
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 as spending
time
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 with their friends, going out with them, and even playing sports. So, the teen years provide the chance for individuals to make the best use of their
time
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 to enjoy life. In conclusion, when
people
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 are so experienced that they are able to lead an enjoyable life, it does not necessarily mean their younger counterparts cannot do it. I strongly believe young
people
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 are more likely to experience exciting moments, which play a crucial role in making them much happier.

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planning
Plan your essay. Write a short plan with 2 ideas for each view and your own clear opinion.
structure
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that links to the question.
content
Give more exact examples of happiness in teen or adult life to support your idea.
grammar
Use simple grammar and short sentences to avoid mistakes.
cohesion
Use linking words to show the connection between ideas, such as first, also, but, however.
structure
The piece shows a clear idea of how both sides view happiness.
cohesion
There is a good use of on the one hand and on the other hand.
content
The writer gives a personal touch with their own view.
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