The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Indeed, the position of women in society
has
undergone a dramatic change in the past two decades and the majority of them continue working once they get married. Suggestion
had
However
, some people indict mothers and their careers for young people’s struggle and misconduct. Personally, I strongly disagree. This
essay will argue that rise in youth crime is a result of lack of education and unevenly shared parental responsibilities, rather than professional married women.
In this
ever-competitive, modern era, father’s earning is not enough to have normal living standard. This
is why mothers step up and work hard to pay their children’s tuition to give them the best education they need to have a bright future. For instance
, an extensive study by Oxford university indicates that youngsters commit more crimes when they are not attached to the schools and have no career vision. Therefore
, it is conclusively clear that mothers are actually contributing to make their children more focused on learning and stay away from mischiefs.
Despite mother’s best efforts, many people still think that working women are no longer placing family as their priority these days as they are busy working. In fact, by doing this
, they contribute significantly to the house budget so that fathers don't necessarily have to work overtime and spend more time at home with children. For instance
, recent empirical research by the UK government demonstrated that adolescents will be significantly less prone to wrongdoing, if they have a fatherly
figure to look up to. Suggestion
father
Thus
, it is hard to agree with the notion that professional mothers are the reason for youngster’s distress and misbehaviour when fathers are often absent from contribution to child upbringing.
To conclude, I believe that a career woman is not a factor for the increasing level of juvenile delinquency. As the matter of fact, fathers should come forward and share responsibilities and both parents should make sure that their children are converged in education.Submitted by dzonik1 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite