IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Societies would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?

#societies #ban #forms #purpose
Some people have different views about whether a complete prohibition of all categories of advertising would bring benefits to societies or not. While I accept that advertisements are useless and can even cause some damage, I
disagree
Suggestion
disagree with this point
this
 point of view. On the one hand, the reason why I accept
this
 view is impulsive purchase. Obviously, because of the growing popularity of advertisements, consumers are easily swayed when making decisions to buy items.
This
 is because the claims made in advertisements seem to misrepresent unreal benefit of a
products
Suggestion
product
 or be exaggerated and distorted to overshadow the true functions, qualities and values of commodities.
Therefore
, advertising encourages people to purchase things they do not really need or even fake products.
For example
, in Viet Nam, due to marketing and advertising campaigns, a large amount of people is reliant on functional food
instead
 of consuming nutritional food
such
 as meat, vegetables, fruits.
On the other hand
, I believe that a comprehensive restriction of
this
 industry can cause the high level of unemployment. These
day
Suggestion
days
, our life is inundated with various
form
Suggestion
forms
 of advertising
such
 as TV commercials, emails, which can bridge the gap between customers and manufactures because information about products would be disseminated to reach more customers.
Therefore
, advertising can help them boost their sales figures and
then
 production and commerce can be promoted, which dispenses thousands of employment opportunities for many people.
This
 means that If adverts are forbidden, a number of
worker
Suggestion
workers
such
 as marketers, would face unemployment. In conclusion, while a total ban on advertisements can have
positive impact
Suggestion
a positive impact
 on societies, I
also
 believe that
this
 can cause some negative effects on people’s lives.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: