These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting events and festivals. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is hardly surprising,
therefore
, that cultural events
plays
Suggestion
play
an important role in some individual's
lifes
a characteristic state or mode of living
lives
life
and in order to attend those events people expend a huge amount of money on tickets.
This
essay completely agree with that statement. I truly feel that new friendships could be gained from
such
events along with getting more relaxed after
hard day
Suggestion
a hard day
.
Nowadays significant
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, significant
new contacts are being made online,
however
, a lot of people prefer
visting
the activity of making visits
visiting
a real life events where they can meet
new acquaintance
Suggestion
new acquaintances
. Recent research suggests that common interests as well as hobby connects people.
Subsequently it
Accept comma addition
Subsequently, it
produce
Suggestion
produces
strong
relashions
mutual dealings or connections or communications among persons or groups
relations
relation
between people,
futhermore it
Accept comma addition
furthermore, it
furthermore it
Futhermore it
is what has
happend
come to pass
happened
to me. Once upon a time I had bought
ticket
Suggestion
tickets
to
Ukrainian music festival
Suggestion
a Ukrainian music festival
the Ukrainian music festival
where I met my
girlfiend
a girl or young woman with whom a man is romantically involved
girlfriend
and we are together since that. In additional to
this
,
visting
the activity of making visits
visiting
events helps to avoid routine work days. Despite on world crisis because of COVID19 virus, we are living in
stressul
extremely irritating to the nerves
stressful
conditions which could lead to
nerveous
easily agitated
nervous
breakdown.
That
Suggestion
That's
why is essential to keep yourself
helthy
having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease
healthy
. One of
excelent
very good;of the highest quality
excellent
approach
is attend
Suggestion
is attending
attends
is to attend
events as any issues and disadvantage is being
forgoten
not noticed inadvertently
forgotten
during the event. I have been a software developer for over six
yeard
a late time of life
years
and learned one simple rule. If I spend
all working week
Suggestion
all week working
in front of a computer, I must visit some cultural events which makes me relaxed on weekends. In conclusion, from my point of view spending money on sports events together with festivals has a positive impact for personal evaluation of life quality, beside that they helps to get new friendship
wich
interrogative pronoun, used both substantively and adjectivally, and in direct and indirect questions, to ask for, or refer to, an individual person or thing among several of a class
which
with
increase mood and people feel
themself
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
valuable.
Submitted by s.zinkevych on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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