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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that in today’s
society people
Accept comma addition
society, people
 tend to depend on each other. While some people advocate
this
Linking Words
 view, I believe that individuals have become more independent. On the one hand, there are those who believe that people are likely to rely on others nowadays.
Firstly
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, young people who have just embarked on their career struggle with many things in life. Because they are novices in their company, they are paid
meager
deficient in amount or quality or extent
meagre
 salaries.
As a result
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, they do not enough finances to purchase big assets, which are exorbitant,
such
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 as a house and a car, and they need their parents’ help to solve the problem.
Secondly
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, people have a tendency to count on co-workers at
work
Use synonyms
. Today,
Use synonyms
work
Suggestion
the work
 is highly specialised, so it requires people to attain
professional skills
Suggestion
the professional skills
 and knowledge
to do well their
Suggestion
to do well in their
work
Use synonyms
.
However
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, It is hard for one person to
work
Use synonyms
 alone. They need to collaborate with another to come up with a plan for their
work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, I side with those who argue that individuals become increasingly independent. In the modern world, the proliferation of the internet allows people to access information easily, so they could search for any things without help. There
is
Suggestion
are
 a number of online courses in diverse fields,
such
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 as learning English, cooking, information technology.
Therefore
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, students no longer necessary to attend an in-person class. Take my brother as an example. He is inundated with
work
Use synonyms
, so he does not have time participating in
a
Suggestion
an
 English class without flexible time, but by learning online course he might actively get knowledge whenever and wherever he wants. In conclusion, despite the benefits of people’s dependence on each other, I contend that individuals have become increasingly independent. It is
therefore
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 important that individuals should more independent in their life.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
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