IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by some people that spending money on educational
sector
Use synonyms
 by governments should be more rather than on sports and recreational
sector
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
Linking Words
 point of view because it will bring many benefits to a
nation
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
firstly
Linking Words
 discuss how spending money on
education
Use synonyms
 leads to the growth of a
country
Use synonyms
, and
secondly
Linking Words
 discuss how
this
Linking Words
 decision helps to dominate the parts of the
world
Use synonyms
. Governments should invest more
on
Suggestion
in
education
Use synonyms
 it is
the secure
Suggestion
the most secure
 investment to build a developed
country
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the more investment in
education
Use synonyms
 of a
country
Use synonyms
, the more educated persons that the
nation
Use synonyms
 will have. Those educated people will apply their knowledge to boost up the economic condition of their
nation
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, it is reported in the Daily Star in 2019 that after
huge investment
Suggestion
a huge investment
 in the educational
sector
Use synonyms
 in Singapore the
country
Use synonyms
’s growth rate was 12%, which was a maximum rate
from
Suggestion
for
 any previous year. Money should spend more on rather than any recreational facilities because ultimately a
nation
Use synonyms
 can dominate other countries through its educated persons which is not possible by having sports persons. A
country
Use synonyms
 has more influence in the
world
Use synonyms
 if it does not need to depend on any other
country
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
. When a
country
Use synonyms
 has
huge number
Suggestion
a huge number
 of brilliant scientists, doctors, engineers and business people, it can produce anything and export its surplus to other countries. In
this
Linking Words
 way that
country
Use synonyms
 will become the leader of the
world
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is illustrated by the fact that the USA became dominant in the
world
Use synonyms
 because of investing huge amounts in the
education
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay supports the idea to spend more money on
education
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of sports or games because it will lead to the development of a
nation
Use synonyms
 as well as to become a dominant
country
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: