IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
It is argued by some people that spending money on educational
sector
 by governments should be more rather than on sports and recreational
sector
.
This
 essay completely agrees with
this
 point of view because it will bring many benefits to a
nation
.
This
 essay will
firstly
 discuss how spending money on
education
 leads to the growth of a
country
, and
secondly
 discuss how
this
 decision helps to dominate the parts of the
world
. Governments should invest more
on
Suggestion
in
education
 it is
the secure
Suggestion
the most secure
 investment to build a developed
country
.
In other words
, the more investment in
education
 of a
country
, the more educated persons that the
nation
 will have. Those educated people will apply their knowledge to boost up the economic condition of their
nation
.
For example
, it is reported in the Daily Star in 2019 that after
huge investment
Suggestion
a huge investment
 in the educational
sector
 in Singapore the
country
’s growth rate was 12%, which was a maximum rate
from
Suggestion
for
 any previous year. Money should spend more on rather than any recreational facilities because ultimately a
nation
 can dominate other countries through its educated persons which is not possible by having sports persons. A
country
 has more influence in the
world
 if it does not need to depend on any other
country
 in the
world
. When a
country
 has
huge number
Suggestion
a huge number
 of brilliant scientists, doctors, engineers and business people, it can produce anything and export its surplus to other countries. In
this
 way that
country
 will become the leader of the
world
.
This
 is illustrated by the fact that the USA became dominant in the
world
 because of investing huge amounts in the
education
sector
. In conclusion,
this
 essay supports the idea to spend more money on
education
instead
 of sports or games because it will lead to the development of a
nation
 as well as to become a dominant
country
 in the
world
.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: