IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
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It is argued by some people that spending money in the
education
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sector
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 by governments should be more rather than on sports and recreational
sector
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.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 point of view because it will bring many benefits to a
nation
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.
This
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 essay will
firstly
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 discuss how spending money on
education
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 leads to the growth of a
country
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 and
secondly
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, discuss how
this
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 decision helps to dominate the parts of the
world
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. Governments should invest more in
education
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 it is the most secure investment to build a developed
country
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.
In other words
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, the more investment in the
education
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 of a
country
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, the more educated persons that the
nation
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 will have. Those educated people will apply their knowledge to boost up the economic condition of their
nation
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.
For example
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, it is reported in the Daily Star in 2019 that after a huge investment in the educational
sector
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 in Singapore the
country
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’s growth rate was 12%, which was a maximum rate for any previous year. Money should spend more on rather than any recreational facilities because ultimately a
nation
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 can dominate other countries through its educated persons which cannot be possible by having sports persons. A
country
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 has more influence in the
world
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 if it does not need to depend on any other
country
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 in the
world
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. When a
country
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 has a huge number of brilliant scientists, doctors, engineers and business people, it can produce anything and export its surplus to other countries. In
this
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 way, that
country
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 will become the leader of the
world
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.
This
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 is illustrated by the fact that the USA became dominant in the
world
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 because of investing huge amounts in the
education
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sector
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. In conclusion,
this
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 essay supports the idea to spend more money on
education
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instead
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 of sports or games because it will lead to the development of a
nation
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 as well as to become a dominant
country
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 in the
world
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.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
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