For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?
It is true that
science
, technology
and business are more vital to people than music and art
. There are various reasons for this
problem, but governments
could certainly take steps to address this
issue.
There are many reasons why people consider technology
. One of the major reasons is that art
and music are not popular subjects
in schools and universities, educational institution promotes more subjects
such
as computer science
, and business management in their course studies rather than art
-related subjects
. This
is because it is easier for graduate students
to find jobs in the field of technology
than to search for jobs in art
. For example
, some companies sign contracts with college students
while
they are still studying computer science
degree in order to hire them after graduation.
To draw people's attention to art
, governments
should take some measures. Firstly
, they should offer scholarships for students
who are willing to continue a degree in one of the art
fields. This
step can draw people’s attention more to art
subjects
and encourage more of them to apply to study in any field that is
related to music and art
. Secondly
, governments
should arrange arts events in local societies at a reasonable price so that everyone can attend these kinds of activities. For instance
, in Germany, governments
arrange big festivals gathering musicians and art
gallery owners in small towns for the public without entry fees.
To sum up
, although
technology
and science
are important in today's world, governments
should take measurements to attract people’s attention to art
subjects
and increase scholarships for art
students
Submitted by nidaa_hamed on
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task achievement
Expand on how values in society have shifted towards science, technology, and business. Explain why this shift has occurred in more detail.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mention specific artists or successful art programs if possible.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensive nature of your ideas by incorporating more diverse vocabulary and sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay. For example, use linking words and phrases such as 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Moreover.'
coherence cohesion
Provide a more detailed conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed and reiterates your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points of your argument are relevant to the prompt and well-organized.
Your opinion
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