IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that government should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Other believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #support #artists #painters #musicians #alternative #sources
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It is thought by some that governments should not subsidise the arts and creative arts should rely on alternative sources of financial
support
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.
Nevertheless
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, it is my belief that the arts should be funded by the
government
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. On the one hand, it is understandable why some people believe that
government
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support
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 for the arts should be eliminated. For one, funding should be better granted to other areas
such
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 as education,
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
, or transport system. These public services need more
support
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 from the
government
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 than the arts as they are shown to be the key factors of a developed country. Another reason is that there are several wealthy patrons around who have interests in art, and they may spend an amount of money to subsidise the arts. A collector,
for example
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, purchases paintings or sculptures to serve their own interests, which contributes to the income of many creative artists.
On the other hand
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, I would maintain that the arts should be funded by
government
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subsidises
a grant paid by a government to an enterprise that benefits the public
subsidies
. Since art encourages creativity and promotes harmony in society, it is important for the
government
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 to
support
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 art as a way of making a more human-oriented society. As a consequence, gifted people have a chance to fully develop their skills
such
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 as drawing or singing.
In addition
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 to
this
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, artworks represent culture and heritage, which means that they can teach the public and visitors about tradition or history. In Vietnam,
for instance
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, there are numerous statues of historical figures
such
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 as Ho Chi Minh President of Vo Nguyen Giap General. They can act as talking points for tourists who visit Vietnam. In conclusion, while it is true that creative artists need funding from other sources
such
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 as patrons, it is my firm belief that national budgets should be spent on the arts.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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