Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is believed that music is a good channel bridging the gap of people regardless of their ages and cultures. In my opinion,

soul

Suggestion

the soul

can connect people in term of their cultural background, yet it can even distance the

generation

Suggestion

generational

difference.

Firstly

Linking Words

music

Suggestion

the music

will eventually exaggerate the gap of age difference,

Use synonyms

melody form

Accept comma addition

melody, form

a standard label between

disparate maturity group

Suggestion

disparate maturity groups

the disparate maturity group

. Since

tune

Suggestion

the tune

is one of the art forms to reflect the social situation and reality, people in different life stages incline to listen specific piece which reflect their social life and match their maturity.

For example

Linking Words

, my grandparents love listening to Chinese opera, while my peer society enjoys pop song like Justin Biber and One Direction. The

melody

Use synonyms

style forms a clear differentiate line to polarize people in their own generation.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is one of the factors in

disparity

Suggestion

disparate

audiences.

However

Linking Words

, music is a universal language to unite people regardless of the cultural background. Recently, experts have begun to expose the mankind is share same musical grammar. People can understand

melody

Use synonyms

and easily get arousal.

For instance

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, audiences will be happier if they listen to rapid

melody

Use synonyms

, vice versa. In fact, soul plays an indispensable role in promoting universal value,

such

Linking Words

as the song ‘we are the world’ is promoting love and peace worldwide. Even it has been translated into different version, people with disparate cultural background

also

Linking Words

enjoy and understand its underlying message.

Thus

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, singing is a powerful channel to shrink the gap of people in the world. In conclusion,

melody

Use synonyms

can influence the world.

Although

Linking Words

it large the age disparity, it helps to connect people from multitudes cultures.

Submitted by c.cyinsin on Thu Aug 27 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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