There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

With the advancement of technology, a wide variety of

music

is more easily accessible through our electronic devices. Some people argue that conventional

music

is still important while others reckon that international

music

is more welcoming. In my opinion, contemporary

music

is more important than traditional

music

. Admittedly,

music

plays an important role in people’s life. The

first

reason why we listen to

music

so often is that it can alter our mood and relieve our stress.

Music

has the ability to induce our inner self and stimulate our expression of emotion. We feel joyful and calm while we are enjoying pleasurable

music

. Meanwhile, a touching love song can smooth our sorrow and heal our wounds.

For example

music

connects people who resonate with a same song. It creates a mutual connection between participants, regardless of their ethnic background, sex or age. From my perspective, international

music

should be valued over traditional

music

Firstly

, international

music

can facilitate better connection between foreigners and locals.

For instance

, some foreigners usually find it difficult to understand old-fashioned

music

from different countries due to the lack of understanding of local language and cultural background.

In contrast

, international

music

is a mainstream genre which the majority of people can understand and listen to.

As a result

this

form of connection breaks the language and region barriers between foreigners and locals.

Secondly

, international

music

is more prone to

bringing

Suggestion

bring

about considerable profit owing to its popularity. Pop

music

for instance

, is widely accepted in

mass media

Suggestion

the mass media

and musicians should make more pop songs in order to seek for more exposure and fit into the need of

audience

Suggestion

the audience

an audience

Therefore

, they can receive more profits from

licensing

Suggestion

Licensing

their opera to the media company, selling albums as well as producing live performance. To sum up, international

music

foster stronger bonding between individuals and contribute to higher income when compared to traditional

music

Thus

, it is clear that international

music

should be given more credits.

Submitted by harryyikhchan on Fri Aug 28 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

With the development of technology, children are now living in a world that is different to what it was 50 years ago. What problems does this situation cause for society and family ?

Some people believe that tourists benefit from tourism, while others believe that such countries are negatively affected. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices would help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self-employment?

Human activities have negative effects on the environment. Some people believe it is too late to take measures to prevent animals and plants from dying out. Others think actions should be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.