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Writing Samples
Band 6

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country
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With the advancement of technology, a wide variety of
music
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 is more easily accessible through our electronic devices. Some people argue that conventional
music
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 is still important while others reckon that international
music
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 is more welcoming. In my opinion, contemporary
music
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 is more important than traditional
music
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. Admittedly,
music
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 plays an important role in people’s life. The
first
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 reason why we listen to
music
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 so often is that it can alter our mood and relieve our stress.
Music
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 has the ability to induce our inner self and stimulate our expression of emotion. We feel joyful and calm while we are enjoying pleasurable
music
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. Meanwhile, a touching love song can smooth our sorrow and heal our wounds.
For example
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,
music
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 connects people who resonate with a same song. It creates a mutual connection between participants, regardless of their ethnic background, sex or age. From my perspective, international
music
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 should be valued over traditional
music
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.
Firstly
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, international
music
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 can facilitate better connection between foreigners and locals.
For instance
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, some foreigners usually find it difficult to understand old-fashioned
music
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 from different countries due to the lack of understanding of local language and cultural background.
In contrast
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, international
music
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 is a mainstream genre which the majority of people can understand and listen to.
As a result
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,
this
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 form of connection breaks the language and region barriers between foreigners and locals.
Secondly
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, international
music
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 is more prone to
bringing
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bring
 about considerable profit owing to its popularity. Pop
music
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,
for instance
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, is widely accepted in
mass media
Suggestion
the mass media
 and musicians should make more pop songs in order to seek for more exposure and fit into the need of
audience
Suggestion
the audience
an audience
.
Therefore
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, they can receive more profits from
licensing
Suggestion
Licensing
 their opera to the media company, selling albums as well as producing live performance. To sum up, international
music
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 foster stronger bonding between individuals and contribute to higher income when compared to traditional
music
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.
Thus
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, it is clear that international
music
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 should be given more credits.
Submitted by harryyikhchan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
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