Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #money #care #education

People have different views about what purposes that authority’s budget ought to spend on. In my opinion, both senior citizens and academic education of youngsters should be invested in by the government. On the one hand, there are multiple reasons why

government budget

Suggestion

the government budget

should be used for the elderly people. Owing to the fact that they all have been retired so that they are incapable of working intensively. As a detrimental result, the shortage of money, which helps them to meet their fundamental requirements, will appear.

For instance

, elderly people who do not receive financial aid from officials after their retirements will not be able to afford food and drink to survive. All things considered, the money that was allocated by local authorities is immensely vital for their senior citizens’ daily lives.

On the other hand

, students are the future of a nation so it is incredibly pivotal to invest in them, especially education.

Firstly

, without academic training it is impossible for

next generation

Suggestion

the next generation

to contribute to boost the inner development.

As a result

manifold

extremely

Suggestion

extreme

extremest

consequences will

happen

Accept comma addition

happen, such

such

as famine, starving, crime, illiteracy

…

Accept space

…

Additionally

, there will be no invention or initiative in the future due to the lack of scientists, researchers… with a wide range of knowledge. The action of using

budget

Suggestion

a budget

the budget

for investing in school systems like teachers, facilities, insurances… is the best and the most effective method to avoid the situation that one

country

Suggestion

country's

economy will get worse steadily. In conclusion, it seems to me that government’s expenditure that spend on both taking care of senior people and educating students is paramount and a key to many issues of one country.

Submitted by Andy on Sat Aug 29 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?