IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is an indisputable fact that
history
Use synonyms
 plays an essential role in the educational system all over the
world
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, children nowadays are getting overwhelmed with a considerable range of historical knowledge; some people, for that reason, believe that students should only focus on local
history
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, both local and
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
 ought to be taught on account of the tremendous benefits they bring.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, local
history
Use synonyms
 is completely a great importance, especially for school children since it is not merely a particular subject at school but the responsibility of every single student
for
Suggestion
in
 their own country. To put it another way, through
history
Use synonyms
, children are able to establish a national identity which is likely to enhance a sense of patriotism that encourages them to preserve/uphold traditional values. From another angle, learning global bygone times is truly necessary as well. As a matter of fact, the definition of globalization today is becoming more and more popular, studying
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, keeps young learners up to date and indeed gives them more opportunities to get exposed to the outside
world
Use synonyms
, which they definitely cannot learn through domestic one.
Besides
Linking Words
,
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increases the chances of boosting/improving employment prospects in future career. Take Japanese firms for a typical example, owing to the appreciation of Japanese companies to a deep insight of their culture, it is totally advantageous for employees who acquire a wide knowledge of Japanese
history
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, both local
history
Use synonyms
 and
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
 are extremely important for students because of their huge pros.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they should be taught widely in the school curriculum.
Submitted by Trinh Vuong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • heritage
  • cultural identity
  • ancestry
  • traditions
  • globalization
  • empathy
  • contemporary issues
  • integrate
  • perspective
  • civilization
  • diversity
  • innovations
  • historical significance
  • nationalism
  • cosmopolitanism
  • historiography
  • geopolitical
What to do next:
Look at other essays: