Many working people get littler or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many people working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

In recent years
,
Accept space
,
the awareness about taking care of an individual's health is less prioritized compared to the other prospects in
life
.
This
leads to
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
of the people is not giving importance to their fitness level resulting in serious health problems.
This
essay highlights two of the main causes and the ways to mitigate the issues. One of the greatest
challenge
Suggestion
challenges
is the
sendentary
requiring sitting or little activity
sedentary
life
style followed by most of the working people and
this
leads to obesity or inadequate development.
This
is because of the workaholic nature in many of the employees and to achieve career progression by stretching after working hours to meet the target.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
the under performer
try
Suggestion
tries
to extend and work even on weekends to get the chances of promotion in the upcoming performance appraisal.
Thus many
Accept comma addition
Thus, many
of them have no time to exercise to detoxify the negative effects in the body due to the huge working pressure during office hours. The potential remedies would be
transforming
Suggestion
transformed
into
active
Suggestion
the active lifestyle
active lifestyle
an active lifestyle
life
style by maintaining a proper work-
life
balance.
This
may be achieved by enrolling them into exercise regimes and sports programmes.To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
many of the software companies have inbuilt gym and sports
facilties
a building or place that provides a particular service or is used for a particular industry
facilities
for the well-being of their employees.So the workforce
do not need
Suggestion
does not need
to set a particular time for their leisure activities rather they can utilize it in the working hours itself.
Also
,
Accept space
,
this
results in greater output and job satisfaction in
workplace
Suggestion
a workplace
the workplace
workplaces
which
inturn
Suggestion
in turn
increases the productivity. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
the long working hours and the desire to climb faster on their career results in serious health issues.There are various measures to mitigate these problems by maintaining balance between their personal and professional
life
and participating in extracurricular activities.
Submitted by rehmanmanzil007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: