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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, an increasing number of individuals around the world have chosen to pursue higher
education
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 at universities and colleges immediately after completing secondary school.
Consequently
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, the availability of academic programs has expanded significantly to meet rising demand.
This
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 essay will explore the factors behind the popularity of tertiary
education
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 and argue that,
while
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 it brings notable advantages, it is only partially beneficial
due to
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 the challenges it entails. Despite its popularity, the growing number of undergraduate
students
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 has introduced several challenges at
both
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 the individual and societal
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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. First and foremost, surging enrolment across various academic disciplines often results in overcrowded classrooms, which inevitably compromises the quality of
education
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. In
such
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 environments, lecturers may struggle to engage effectively with all
students
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 or provide adequate feedback, leading to a more passive learning experience.
For example
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,
students
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 typically feel more confident participating in smaller classes, where they are more likely to interact with instructors. Beyond academic concerns, financial burdens
also
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 pose a serious issue. As
students
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 take on more courses, tuition fees, accommodation costs, and educational materials create significant economic strain—particularly for those from disadvantaged backgrounds.
This
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 financial pressure can lead to long-term debt and adversely affect
students
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’ well-being.
Nevertheless
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, the expansion of higher
education
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 and the diversification of academic offerings bring about a range of important benefits. Most notably, university graduates receive formally recognized qualifications that substantially enhance their employability in today’s competitive labour market. These credentials serve as a key indicator for recruiters when assessing applicants’ potential.
Consequently
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, degree holders gain better access to well-paying jobs, which in turn helps to reduce unemployment rates and fosters socio-economic development.
Furthermore
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, completing university programs equips
students
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 with a solid foundation of interdisciplinary knowledge.
This
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 not only improves their adaptability but
also
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 prepares them with the critical thinking and problem-solving skills required in an increasingly dynamic, technology-driven world — a factor that ultimately reinforces
both
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 personal success and societal progress. All things considered,
while
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 the pursuit of higher
education
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 may present certain drawbacks,
such
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 as diminished classroom interaction and heightened financial pressure, its long-term benefits for
both
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 individuals and society are undeniable.
Therefore
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,
although
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 not without its flaws,
this
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 trend remains a largely positive force—provided that appropriate support systems are in place to ensure
both
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 quality and accessibility.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, providing a clear thesis statement. Consider strengthening your conclusion by summarizing the key points more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with each paragraph clearly focusing on a main idea. Use more varied linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and ideas for better cohesion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with arguments and examples. Try to incorporate more diverse examples to illustrate your points further, enhancing the overall depth of the discussion.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced argument, weighing both the benefits and challenges of pursuing higher education, which demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The vocabulary used is sophisticated and context-appropriate, which enhances the quality of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vocational training
  • Specialization
  • Interdisciplinary programs
  • Human capital
  • Economic growth
  • Job prospects
  • Practical experience
  • Student enrollment
  • Educational institutions
  • Alternative education paths
  • Skill development
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