3. New technologies have changed the way people spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #people #time

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that people spend their leisure time on technology devices.

Although

there have some obvious disadvantage of

this

trend, I believed that there are some overshadow advantages despite

Verify preposition usage

apply

the drawback it brings On the one hand, it is thought that there are have

Add an article

negative influence on human, especially children. The electronic games make them addicted and spend hours on them which lead to the poorer academic result at school.

For instance

, my friend is absorbed

Add a hyphen

in-game

Add an article

the

game that he keeps distance with others. When he spends hours on games, his results at school are bad.

Add a space

apply

Furthermore, the more you interact with the blue light from the screen, the more your eyes

Change the verb form

are

strained

On the other hand

, I believed that there

are

Change the verb form

a lot of benefit

besides

the disadvantage. Because we live in

the

Remove the article

apply

modern life with cutting - edge technology surrounding, so using the computer soon will help the children broaden their knowledge and update the news easily without using

Add an article

magazine or newspaper.

For instance

, they can join in the online class which can improve and learn some skills that they are not taught at school.

Furthermore

this

will be

Change the article

opportunity for children to make friend with people has

Add an article

the

same interest all around the world.

Nowaday

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

, children and people do not feel alone because they can connect with others through Facebook In conclusion, I

belived

Correct your spelling

believed

believe

that there are numerous advantages beside drawbacks and it would be more popular in the future and more crucial because it

is not only enhance

Change the verb form

does not only enhance

young children self - study but

also

can connect friend with worldwide

Submitted by nguyengiao024 on Tue Sep 01 2020

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some people believe that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. What extant do you agree or disagree with tihs statement?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons…experience.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the notion that changing one's perspective on stress can lead to a healthier response to life's challenges?” You should give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your response.