IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
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It is believed that
books
 have an advantage over television to develop communication
skills
 and imagination. I fully support the belief that readers are able to develop linguistic and imaginative
skills
 significantly better.
Firstly
, the number of
books
 and topics
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more comprehensive than the TV, so the reader's horizons are immense, and even an ordinary reader can support the conversation on a much broader range of topics, in
this
 regard, that improves communication
skills
.
Secondly
, with
books
, one can find many different critical views, which allows a more objective assessment of a particular issue and strengthens one's language
skills
, especially in the field of communication.
For instance
, in an official government press
release
Add a comma
release,
show examples
 they stated that the United States
published
Wrong verb form
publishes
show examples
 300 000 per year as opposed to the set industry;
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is around 500 releases per year, on
this
 basis,
books
 outweigh
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video production by tens or even hundreds of times.
Besides
,
books
 involve thinking processes, as opposed to the TV, which involves the visual perception of information. Viewing and visual imagination are different, so when reading, we use the specific parts of the cortex that
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
 and
develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
show examples
 our cognitive processes.
Furthermore
, the method of translating characters into pictures or clips in our minds improves
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
neural connections, which is a kind of mental training for our brain and improves the links between neurons, which in turn are an essential element of our brain functioning.
For example
, a recent study using magnetic resonance imaging done by Harvard University has shown that people who read have more active areas in the brain than those who enjoy watching television. In conclusion, as seen in the examples,
it is clear that
due to
 the volume of
books
 and the specific feature that affects the thought processes, readers have a more obvious advantage over television and can improve language
skills
 and imagination.
Submitted by 6369633 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Review and revise sentence structures for clarity and accuracy.
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