IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
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It is believed that
books
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 have an advantage over television to develop communication
skills
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 and imagination. I fully support the belief that readers are able to develop linguistic and imaginative
skills
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 significantly better.
Firstly
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, the number of
books
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 and topics
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more comprehensive than the TV, so the reader's horizons are immense, and even an ordinary reader can support the conversation on a much broader range of topics, in
this
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 regard, that improves communication
skills
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.
Secondly
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, with
books
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, one can find many different critical views, which allows a more objective assessment of a particular issue and strengthens one's language
skills
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, especially in the field of communication.
For instance
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, in an official government press
release
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release,
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 they stated that the United States
published
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publishes
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 300 000 per year as opposed to the set industry;
it
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which
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 is around 500 releases per year, on
this
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 basis,
books
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 outweigh
the
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apply
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video production by tens or even hundreds of times.
Besides
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,
books
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 involve thinking processes, as opposed to the TV, which involves the visual perception of information. Viewing and visual imagination are different, so when reading, we use the specific parts of the cortex that
affects
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affect
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 and
develops
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develop
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 our cognitive processes.
Furthermore
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, the method of translating characters into pictures or clips in our minds improves
the
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apply
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neural connections, which is a kind of mental training for our brain and improves the links between neurons, which in turn are an essential element of our brain functioning.
For example
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, a recent study using magnetic resonance imaging done by Harvard University has shown that people who read have more active areas in the brain than those who enjoy watching television. In conclusion, as seen in the examples,
it is clear that
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due to
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 the volume of
books
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 and the specific feature that affects the thought processes, readers have a more obvious advantage over television and can improve language
skills
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 and imagination.
Submitted by 6369633 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Review and revise sentence structures for clarity and accuracy.
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