Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

India is a diverse

country

Use synonyms

and fine arts and music has been part of cultures from the ancient time. Few of masses believe that

such

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creativity and talent could not enhance the standard of living of people.

However

Linking Words

, they think that

such

Linking Words

money should be given to several other areas. I totally

agrees

Change the verb form

agree

with

this

Linking Words

notion,

this

Linking Words

is not

Add an article

the

perfect area to be focused there are quite

Change the article

few other

such

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as education and healthcare.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with, From

Add an article

the

past couple of decades globalisation emerging rapidly,

as a result

Linking Words

, people need to all basic amenities to survive in

this

Linking Words

competitive world. To spending monetary finance on some cultural aspects

such

Linking Words

as arts and music would not be rational,

instead

Linking Words

administration should provide assistant in

Remove the space

apply

education and healthcare, which as most vital aspects for improving

Add an article

the

standard of public as well as

economy

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For instance

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, healthy and educated people could be given a proper contribution to the development of the

economy

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, which is far away for ill and unhealthy masses.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, It is

also

Linking Words

significant to preserve

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apply

traditional and cultural aspects which represent the

country

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, that how it was in past and how development took place. Apart from

this

Linking Words

, Through maintaining historical things

such

Linking Words

as painting and traditional culture things,

Use synonyms

Add an article

the

country could earn

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apply

money through visitors around the

word

Correct your spelling

world

, as people always love to explore things that have some ancient story. To illustrate

this

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, a painting od Picasso was visited by millions of tourist around

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apply

every corner of the world due to its story behind the sketch, Despite

this

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, it was sold in about

million

Correct your spelling

millions

of dollars, which make

Use synonyms

Add an article

the

economy to earning huge amount from

such

Linking Words

cultural things.

Conclusion

To conclude

this

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, it is good to preserve old music and paint and spend

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apply

huge money to preserve them.

However

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, I agree with that,

Use synonyms

Add an article

the

country should spend more on basic amenities

such

Linking Words

as education and healthcare facilities, as it directly contributes to the

economy

Use synonyms

and enhances the standard of life.

asifrathod662

Sep 2, 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

quality of life
government funding
cultural enrichment
social connections
mental health
emotional well-being
creative industries
economic development
arts education
critical thinking
historical preservation
national identity
societal stability
community engagement

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Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal informations such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. discuss both views and include your opinion.