IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Teamwork offers a lot of benefits in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary society, the unity of
people
Use synonyms
 provides plenty of advantages. The benefits are like meeting new
people
Use synonyms
, advancing your personal skills and eventually enhancing as a
team
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will demonstrate the positive impact of
teamwork
Use synonyms
 on modern society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the latter's point of view, the partnership has a big advantage
such
Linking Words
 as meeting new community and friends that can lead to a new level of partnership.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when you have new friends, you start being socially active. Many problems and difficult obstacles may be solved when you work as a
team
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, there are five
people
Use synonyms
 in a
team
Use synonyms
 and each person can take one or two tasks to address the shortcomings which makes the whole process of solving problems easier. Synergy makes
people
Use synonyms
 cohesive and strong.
In addition
Linking Words
, I think that
teamwork
Use synonyms
 really helps you to grow personally and master your skills.
While
Linking Words
 having a task to be solved you substantially try to do your best in a bid to help your
team
Use synonyms
 and it makes you
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
advance in your particular field.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it makes you better at your hard and soft skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, Cambridge University discovered that
teamwork
Use synonyms
 has a big positive benefit like self-grow. The more you put effort into something, the better result you achieve,
therefore
Linking Words
 in a result you help your
team
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in modern society,
teamwork
Use synonyms
 is crucial if something difficult needs to be solved.
Teamwork
Use synonyms
 not only unites
people
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 makes them strong, better at something and cohesive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement, it's crucial to address the prompt more directly. Make sure your thesis statement clearly reflects whether you agree or disagree with the statement, and structure your body paragraphs around this stance. Aim to provide more nuanced arguments and explore the implications of teamwork in modern society to deepen your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence by linking your ideas more clearly. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to show the relationship between ideas within and across paragraphs. Think about how you can lead the reader through your discussion more smoothly, perhaps by signposting your arguments more explicitly at the beginning of each paragraph.
Coherence & Cohesion
To strengthen cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your overall argument. This will help in making the essay feel more unified. Aim to develop each point fully before moving on to the next, using more detailed examples and explaining how these support your position.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: