Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#globalization #world #culture #identity

In the past decade, the mushrooming of foreign

culture

has enlivened myriad countries' cultures around the globe and left the real

culture

of the

country

behind. In my point of view,

it is clear that

this

phenomenon could lead to several problems.

In addition

, I believe that

this

culture

can destroy

such

culture

of a

country

, and I will

further

elaborate in the following paragraphs. Several years ago, in 2018 to be precise, foreign

culture

burst among

Indonesian

youngsters and reached its peak when one of the Korean boy bands namely BTS topped the world's billboard music charts,

overtook

Correct word choice

and overtook

show examples

other Western artists

such

as Taylor Swift and Harry Style. Later on, the Korean Pop (K-Pop)

culture

dominated the world music industry, including Indonesia.

This

phenomenon has impacted the

Indonesian

young generation to love foreign

culture

more than their traditional

culture

and history. Research even shows that the

Indonesian

young generation cannot mention who is the founding father of their

country

as well as

mention the five countries’ principles, let alone know the traditional

culture

they have.

Additionally

, the onslaught of the foreign entertainment industry, especially in the field of

food

, has

also

given

Indonesian

youth better knowledge about

this

than knowledge about their own

country

's original cuisines.

For instance

, a lot of young Indonesians like sushi and beef burgers more than countries original dishes

such

as beef rendang and beef satay.

This

is because they see a lot of programs related to foreign cuisines.

Additionally

, it is easier to find restaurants serving foreign

food

in a mall than one serving

Indonesian

traditional

food

. In conclusion, I strongly believe that globalization could weaken one’s

country

's identity. Globalization through entertainment channels

such

as music and

food

franchises cannot be ignored, as it plays a huge role in young generations.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Jul 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your introduction sets the stage for your argument, but it could benefit from greater clarity on the problems you intend to discuss. Be more explicit about what issues globalization causes.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally well-organized, some paragraphs could be better developed to improve unity and flow. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and elaborates fully.

coherence cohesion

Use a more diverse range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. This will also help to show your proficiency in English.

relevant specific examples

The example of BTS and its impact on Indonesian youth is highly relevant and well-explained. This adds significant weight to your argument.

introduction conclusion present

You adequately conclude your essay, reinforcing your main point about globalization's impact on national identity.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Some individuals assume that moving huge companies and industries from residential areas to suburbs would be effective. While this trend might have some drawbacks, I personally suppose its benefits will be more.
5.5
band
Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?
In today’s rapidly evolving world, the debate over whether older or younger individuals make better leaders in organizations is ongoing. While some argue that experience and wisdom often come with age, others contend that younger leaders bring fresh perspectives and innovative thinking to the table. In my opinion, both age groups possess unique strengths, but a blend of youthful vigor and seasoned expertise can get the most effective leadership outcomes.
4
band
In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In some states, there is an increasing trend within the young generation that prefers to attend vocational training rather than entering university. I think this trends' advantages are more outweigh than disadvantages because this kind of trainings cost-effective than universities, and it saves time.
5.5
band
nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?
In recent years, although computers bring about various benefits, it has emerged as one of the vital threats to children lifestyle. This essay will exert detrimental ramifications of playing computer games and propose strategies to alleviate these adverse effects.
5
band
In many countries,there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty. What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimise the problems?
Evidence suggests that all over the world, the wast majority of elderlies are not able to work with new technological progresses as much as younger generation. Although there are specific root causes behind this phenomenon, effective solutions can be adopted to remedy this situation.

Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

In many countries,there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty. What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimise the problems?