IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development ?

#years #shops #customers #travel #shoppings #centres #malls #development
The pace of change in the world of shopping is being constantly. It is possible to see that a considerable number of small local shops have closed, while large shopping centres and malls are in constant growth.
This
 fact is mainly because of the population’s choice, which prefers places with good cost-benefit and a large variety of products.
In addition
,
such
 places can help in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
development
 by decreasing unemployment. Due to these facts, I firmly believe that they are a positive action in
development
.
Firstly
,
although
 some people argue that most of these places will overtake the way of shopping and impose their price, what we see is slightly different. In fact, these large shopping centres offer a huge range of products, from the front yard to backyard, with prices that were unimagined in small shops
hence
, the population can use the remaining money with other things. A recent statistic has shown that 95% of the shoppers chose large centres mainly because of the easiness in finding things for your house and the extremely good cost-benefit.
Secondly
, considering that
such
 large shops and malls have strong planning and support behind them, they can hire a large number of people and offer competitive salaries, when compared to small shops. Aligned with
this
, these places go in trend to the
development
 by decreasing the unemployment rate. A local newspaper has pointed out that unemployment in the city has drastically dropped,
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 75%, when compared with the same time before the opening of Walmart in the city. To summarize, while some people argue that these large centres will destroy or city in many ways, I strongly believe that their drawbacks are considerably small when compared with their positive impact on the
development
. Considering the fact that they create new jobs and offer
e
Add an article
an
show examples
xcellent trade-off between price and benefit on their products.
Submitted by gislainemelega on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: