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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Experts say that older people stay healthy when they spend time with others.nowadays older people experience loneliness and poor health conditions.what are the causes of this and suggest some solutions

It is a common belief that while grown-ups in bygone days were more cheerful and robust as they used to spend lots of
time
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 with their loved ones and were physically active, in modern days, they are not only suffering from several medical issues but
also
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 feel detached from society.
This
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 essay will discuss some of the reasons for
this
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 inclination and provide a few solutions to address
this
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 concern. One main causative factor in terms of isolation is the chaotic lifestyle of young people these days. As they are spending a huge amount of
time
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 at their workplace,
this
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 hardly leaves them any
time
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 to spend with their parents or grandparents. The increasing number of old-ages homes in many nations is an ideal example of
this
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 changing situation. To curb
this
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 problem, the government should put a strict law on working hours at the workplace for the young generation and promote spending
time
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 with their elderly. Turning to the medical concerns amongst elderly people, there is a huge lack of open-spaces
such
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 as the park and recreational areas in modern cities.
As a result
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, an elder generation tends to spend the majority of their
time
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 at home either watching television or reading books. To illustrate, Unlike earlier days, it is quite visible that cities, these days, are congestive and overcrowded.
This
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 problem again can be tackled by the government's intervention as more recreational
centers
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centres
show examples
 should be established for the local people for free or on subsidized cost.
As a result
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, people would participate in physical activities more and lead a healthy life. In conclusion, two of the prime reasons for
this
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 escalating transition of being unhealthy and detachment from the society amongst old-age people are the hectic work-life schedule of their offsprings and unavailability of plenty of spaces and activities
centers
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centres
show examples
 in the cities.
However
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, these concerns can be mitigated by the government's support.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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