IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is better to live in the countryside, while others believe that living in a city is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that living in a village is beneficial and better than living in the
city
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, others are convinced that living in cities is more convenient for them. I agree with the sentiment that supports living in cities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will help us understand why
people
Use synonyms
 are into those ideas and their experiences and arguments.
Overall
Linking Words
, I totally understand why
people
Use synonyms
 love living in the countryside and far from the town. First of all, they prefer a quiet and peaceful area where they can enjoy and relax without being disturbed by other
people
Use synonyms
's actions.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 get annoyed by the traffic noise as it makes them uncomfortable and angry.
In addition
Linking Words
, the noises can wake them up from their sleep and alert their brain to stay awake , so their brain will get used to it.
For instance
Linking Words
, some humans move to farmlands to escape pollution of all kinds, including noise, air , water , and environmental pollution. These are all reasons to move away and live far from
city
Use synonyms
 areas.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 adore living in towns where they feel more delightful and safe.
First,
Linking Words
they think it's necessary to live beyond their workplaces and near them.
For example
Linking Words
, work is the main point in life; they will be working and going to it daily, so a short time and short kilometres will definitely be the main factor that makes them want to live there.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to stay there because it's safer for them and there are policies and officers everywhere in the
city
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, life conditions and living standards are much easier in town; everything they might need is available there. To expand the idea, hospitals, schools, and police stations are all in the same place. In conclusion, I personally believe that living in the
city
Use synonyms
 is more comfortable and convenient to me, as it ensures life facilities and the safety essentials that every person needs. I think deciding where to live depends on the person's character and preferences. Most old
people
Use synonyms
 tend to live in villages,
while
Linking Words
 young adults enjoy living in towns.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your view is clear, but the city side has a bit more support than the village side.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then explain it.
task response
Use examples that are more real and specific. Some examples are general, so they do not add strong support.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences feel long or repeat the same point.
task response
Develop each point more carefully. A few ideas are good, but they need deeper support.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'first of all', 'in addition', and 'on the other hand'.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: