Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sport personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems.

There is a debate over how celebrities' lives impact their liveliness, with some saying being famous has some benefits

while

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others argue that becoming famous will cause some problems.

Although

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famous performers are surrounded by

such

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issues as gossiping about them,

however

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, they earn huge amounts of money. Nowadays being a famous performer has a negative impact on popularity in life. People gossiping about movie stars or sportsmen is one of the main problems that leads to bad consequences or suicides. Being surrounded by various rumours doesn't give them freedom in activity.

For example

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, a singer whose name was Kurt Cobain committed suicide in the 90s because fame was too much for him to handle.

Thus

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, famous performers couldn't get a free and happy lifestyle even if they had a good salary. The beneficial side of becoming a popular sports athlete or celebrity is getting a major salary and being successful.

Firstly

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, it will bring well-known economic status which leads to big opportunities

such

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as living in luxurious conditions.

For instance

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, northern basketball player Michael Jordan opened his own clothing and shoe line, which gave him income from his fans.

Therefore

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this

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type of wealth can bring them a luxurious lifestyle and fame to their fans. In conclusion,

Although

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celebrities can successfully earn big amounts of money and have incomes from fans,

however

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by they

also

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have some drawbacks, which can lead them to bad accidents. Despite the high salaries and luxury soul, freedom and a healthy lifestyle are the optimum choices.

Feb 3, 2025

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task achievement

Clarify your position in the introduction by clearly stating whether you believe the benefits or problems outweigh the other.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid hesitant phrases like 'although' at the beginning of a sentence when it isn't followed by a clear contrasting idea. Use them to better structure your arguments.

task achievement

Make sure to include the full context of examples so that the reader can fully understand their relevance; this may improve the clarity of your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use a wider variety of linking words to enhance cohesion between your paragraphs. For instance, instead of just 'Firstly' and 'For example', you might include transitions like 'Additionally' or 'In contrast'.

content

You have identified both the benefits and drawbacks of being a celebrity, which shows a balanced consideration of the topic.

content

The examples you chose, such as Kurt Cobain and Michael Jordan, are relevant and widely recognized, adding value to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Celebrity status
Public scrutiny
Fan base
Media attention
Financial gain
Privacy invasion
Adulation
Pressure of fame
Paparazzi
Social responsibility

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Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sport personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems.

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Protecting the Environment is the responsibility of the government. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: -explain why you are interested in helping -Give details suitable past experience -suggest ways you might help with the event.

In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?