Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sport personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems.

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There is a debate over how celebrities' lives impact their liveliness, with some saying being famous has some benefits

while

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others argue that becoming famous will cause some problems.

Although

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famous performers are surrounded by

such

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issues as gossiping about them,

however

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, they earn huge amounts of money. Nowadays being

famous

Correct article usage

a famous

show examples

performer has a negative impact on popularity in life. People gossiping about movie stars or sportsmen is one of the main problems that leads to bad consequences or suicides. Being surrounded by various rumours doesn't give them freedom in activity.

For example

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, a singer whose name was Kurt Cobain committed suicide in the 90s because fame was too much for him to handle.

Thus

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, famous performers couldn't get a free and happy lifestyle even if they had a good salary. The beneficial side of becoming a popular sports athlete or celebrity is getting a major salary and being successful.

Firstly

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, it will bring well-known economic status which leads to big opportunities

such

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as living in luxurious conditions.

For instance

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, northern basketball player Michael Jordan opened his own clothing and shoe line, which gave him income from his fans.

Therefore

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this

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type of wealth can bring them a luxurious lifestyle and fame to their fans. In conclusion,

Although

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celebrities can successfully earn big amounts of money and have incomes from fans,

however

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by they

also

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have some drawbacks, which can lead them to bad accidents. Despite the high salaries and luxury soul, freedom and a healthy lifestyle are the optimum choices.

makemoneyizzy16Mon Feb 03 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction presents the topic well, but could be clearer. Consider rephrasing for better clarity. For example, explicitly state which side you support.

coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow between your ideas. The transition from discussing the problems to benefits feels abrupt. Using transitional phrases could help.

task achievement

Some examples provided are effective, but ensure that all points are supported with clear reasoning. For instance, elaborating more on how fame brings money would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples of celebrities, which adds credibility to your argument.

task achievement

The essay generally addresses the topic, and you have made an effort to present both sides.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Celebrity status
Public scrutiny
Fan base
Media attention
Financial gain
Privacy invasion
Adulation
Pressure of fame
Paparazzi
Social responsibility

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Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sport personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems.

Your opinion

there are many different types of music in the world today. why do we need music? is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some people think visitors to others countries should imitate local customers and behaviours. Some people disagree; they think the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

Many people today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life. What are the causes of this situation, and what can individuals and employers do to reduce the problem?

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language. Do you agree with this opinion?