IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?

#stress #countries #world #factors #society
Unmanageable reaction to our mind is called
stress
. Globally people suffer from
this
 problem significantly. In
this
 essay,we will analyse the causes and its solution to handle
this
 weight.
Stress
 is embedded into our modern
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Although
 causes could be many , I believe unbalanced
work
 and
life
 could be the primary cause.
For instance
,if an employee is working more than allotted
work
 hours will push him to compromise his
life
 priorities which will automatically push him to
stress
 zone.
In addition
, if the employee gets an unrealistic task to achieve with short deadlines and with fewer resources while he strives to achieve these targets he will lose all his energy and eventually end up in
stress
.
Firstly
,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
erson
Correct your spelling
person
 has to be realistic in accepting the responsibility given to him, it is nothing wrong in rejecting the
work
 which we are not capable of. Alternatively, people shall
work
 on some
stress
 burst techniques like, Yoga and meditation
this
 will help their body and mind synchronised and to be more productive and innovative which will ease them to accomplish their assignment to the highest level of satisfaction which is more important to reduce the
stress
. In conclusion,
although
stress
 is a threatening factor globally, possible and practical solutions will help to manage it very effectively
in turn
Add the comma(s)
, in turn,
show examples
 will give peace into everyone's
life
.
Submitted by christoferedison on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: